


Accidentally

by holyfudgemonkeys (erraticallyinspired)



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Dick Pics, Drunk Texting, Eggsy's sister is Rian, Harry Hart Lives, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:45:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erraticallyinspired/pseuds/holyfudgemonkeys
Summary: Eggsy accidentally drunk texts Harry a dick pic.(A short fic based on this: http://holyfudgemonkeys.tumblr.com/post/158085377437/reinventlou-someone-turn-this-into-a-fic-ill)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit out of practice with this fandom, so please be kind

The reminder dinged on his mobile as he was pouring cereal for Rian. 

_Fitting, 11am_ , it said. Kingsman agents were technically required to go to a fitting every so often, though most agents were already used to it from their public lives. Eggsy, on the other hand, wasn't quite as adept at noticing whenever his suits might need a little tailoring. Merlin had set up his mobile to automatically remind him in response.

Except Eggsy _really_ didn't want to go to headquarters. In fact, he was almost completely convinced that it was for the best that he never set foot on the property ever again, and he began to wonder if any of their foreign offices needed more manpower. Then it hit him that that would require going to headquarters and asking Arthur for a transfer anyway. If Arthur - _Harry_ \- even wanted to see him. 

Still, Eggsy was trying his hand at being a gentleman, and that meant not skipping his appointments indefinitely. (It _totally_ didn't have anything to do with how scary the Kingsman tailors could be. Definitely not.)

\---

It could be as easy as in and out, he told himself as he walked into the shop. He wouldn't even have to actually go into headquarters, because they could measure him right in the shop, and he had the day off, so he didn't have any pressing business there anyway. 

"Eggsy," Roxy called out, smiling, before he could leave. 

"Hey, Rox'," he said as he inched towards the door. "I was just on my way -"

She narrowed her eyes, clearly picking up on his fidgety behavior. "Actually, Arthur wanted to see you."

_Of course._

"Yeah?" He smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles on his jacket. "Did 'e say why?"

"No," Roxy said and tilted her head. "Though he did say to ask if your mobile is dead."

His cheeks burned. He purposefully hadn't checked his phone other than to see the reminder since the night before, and for good reason, too.

The general consensus was that the younger generations were better with technology than their elders, but that night was a good example of why it wasn't necessarily always true. The day had started out well, with Eggsy's plane landing at ten in the morning after a three day mission in France. His first stop had been headquarters. He gave his oral report directly to Arthur and then visited Merlin for an early lunch while he scribbled out his written statement. Then the afternoon was his to spend with his mum and sister. It had been, all in all, a good day.

Until he'd decided to indulge a little that evening. A few beers with his old mates to start with. Then a wank to release some lingering tension from the mission. In his infinite wisdom, he'd fumbled through snapping a few pics, which he meant to send to Sam from the tech department. It wasn't a bad idea in theory. They'd been on a few dates in the past, but in the end they had mutually come to the conclusion that they were best as friends who occasionally hooked up. 

The problem was that Sam never received the pictures. Eggsy had checked for a response before he drifted off, and it was only then that he'd noticed his mistake.

He'd sent the pics to the last contact in his messages instead.

He'd sent dick pics to _Harry._

Harry most definitely knew how to use a mobile, and now he'd requested a meeting with Eggsy.

"Yeah, dead," Eggsy said weakly, looking away from Roxy's unconvinced face. He wasn't getting out of this one. 

\---

"Do you know why I called you in here, Eggsy?" Harry casually pulled out two glasses and some whiskey from his desk.

Eggsy wanted to hide his face in his hands. Or maybe drink the whole bottle of whiskey. Or both. "I accidentally sent you a dick pic?"

"Accidentally?" Harry murmured, setting the whiskey back on the desk.

"See, I meant to send it to Sam down in tech, but I was piss drunk, an' -" It felt like his cheeks were on fire, and he absentmindedly wondered if the ground was going to fall out from underneath him soon.

"Mr. Miles from the tech department?" Harry asked, to clarify. His voice was unsettlingly cool.

"Yeah." 

"I see."

Eggsy grimaced at the tone, risked a glance up at his boss, and then narrowed his eyes. "Wait, hold on - are you _jealous?_ "

Harry was silent.

"Did you _want_ me to send you a dick pic?" Eggsy pressed, fully aware that he could just be making it worse.

"I don't believe the thought ever crossed my mind," Harry replied dryly. He didn't look at the younger man. 

"But you liked it."

Again, Harry was quiet, but Eggsy didn't speak again, either. Instead, he fished out his mobile from his pocket and scrolled through his messages until he found his conversation with Sam and typed out a quick text.

"Eggsy -"

"There," Eggsy said as he dropped the phone on the desk. "You don' have to be jealous any longer."

\---

_Sorry Sam,_ it said, _I'm off the market_

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone who reads this read my other kingsman fics, I promise I still intend to update them - I've just had a rough year between school and some medical stuff and now I'm not used to writing the characters anymore :/


End file.
